I have been, and will continue, keeping a hand-written notebook journal for you, my unborn, unconcieved, but much loved beautiful baby. Hand-written is just so much more personal. But I also worry that it will get destroyed or lost somehow, so I wanted a back up. I have written some very personal and honest things in it and I do want it to get to you, one day, maybe when you are starting your own journey to parenthood. My journey for you truly began on July 31, 2009, when your daddy, Royce, said "maybe, if you're good, we'll start trying this winter." That was the green light I was waiting for. I didn't know how ready I was, I had just been waiting for daddy.
I remember that day so well, we were at a packet-stuffing party for our car show with the car club. Royce told our president, Bonnie, that he had an "announcement" to make, apparently, she just gushed "Oh!! Are you...?!" but he cut her off, "No! Not that! Just something about the car show." That was the end of it. Until we got in the car, where he told me about it, and said that little "if you're good" remark. Right then and there, I vowed to myself to start becoming the best mommy I could. And within weeks, I was on my way. I had quit my beloved Coca-Cola, started taking prenatal vitamins, and I was letting my hair color grow out. We wouldn't be starting to try for several months, but I wanted my body to be pure and ready.
Our first "try" was October 3, 2009. I finished my last cycle of birth control pills just weeks before and didn't refill them. Daddy had been gone hunting, but he got home on October 3 and we already had some baby-making plans.
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