Today is a tough one. I just learned that our car show friend, Gary, lost his beautiful 17-yr-old daughter to suicide. She was such a neat kid. She was beautiful, fun and talented. Her family is amazing. She had so much going for her. I can't imagine what makes a person choose the finality of death over the temporary situations of life. My heart is breaking for Gary. No parent should have to bury their baby. Add to that pain the unbearable guilt of not knowing about or how to stop the choice of suicide. Baby, I am finally ready to give my love completely to you and deal with the challenges, inconsistancies, chaos & heartache of parenting... but I will NEVER be ready for this kind of heartbreak. Please, baby, if you ever feel sad, alone, misunderstood, broken, tired, hopeless, talk to me. or daddy. or any of the hundreds of people who already love you. We've all been there before. We may not understand your exact situations, but the feelings are all-too familiar... and we've worked past it to today. Today, the world is mine. I'm alive, I'm healthy, happy & ready to start my family. But it hasn't always been that way, and it won't be like this forever. Everything is temporary, just for now. Except for death. And a parent's love for her child. I've never help you, never heard your heart beat or soft breathing, I don't even know if you're growing inside me, but I absolutely adore you and know I will love you forever. Please, baby, make good choices. But, if you do make a mistake, do something stupid, always choose life over death. It's just for now.
I love you, baby, FOREVER!
~ mommy
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